Dear Smackinthecrack,

My parents are moving to Arkansas, YES ARKANSAS!! I am a 16 year old woman. I have friends, a life, school, boyfriend and I am about to get a car. I told them I am not going to a state where the state bird is a chicken and the state flowers are weeds and most of the people are related. Anyway, my mom threatened my life with her very large gun if I didn’t go. What can I do?

Signed,

Tiffany

Dear Tiff,

Arkansas huh? I have a uncle/grand-dad who lives there. It can’t be that bad, he still has most of his teeth and he runs a lucrative business on the side. He has a barn full of sheep he pimps out from time to time for extra cash.

So what should you do? Ask your mom if she has any bullets for her gun. If the answer is Yes, I am guessing you go.

P.S.

Tell my kin hi.

Here for you

Smackinthecrack

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