I Dare You To...

*honestly believe that tomorrow will not come.

*Actually stop and listen when you ask someone "how are you?"

*listen to a child tell you about the world.

*play tag, with your loved one. 

I Double Dog Dare You To...

*roll down a big hill.

*appriciate people.  Even for the little things.

*give a gift to a complete stranger. 

*do everything on this list...     everyday.

This is a true story about an over-weight 12 year old boy. 

    I came home from work one day.  Like usual I was getting a snack and then going to go pick up my son from school.   When I arrived home, I was surprised to see my son sitting on the couch watching tv.  I asked what he was already doing home?  He replied, "I got suspended today" as his eyes started to fill with tears.   I said, "for what?"  He replied quietly "for fighten'." 

(now my son is somewhat of a geek.  In a good way of course.  He knows more about computers and gadgets then making friends and social events.  He is also over-weight). 

    "You got in a fight?!?"  I asked surprised.  (and out of sheer curiosity) I asked...   "did ya win?"  His eyes filled with tears and he looked down at the floor and softly said "no."   I felt so bad for him, and I had so much anger towards this unknown person who could have made him feel so badily.   He continued to fill in the blanks of the story.  He mentioned that some older kids from school tease him a lot.  And one kid inpaticular started calling him "fatty", "tubby", "porky", and so on.  So I said, "Did ya punch him?"   My son, still looking at the floor said "no, I never even touched him, ever."  I asked, "then why were you suspended?"  He slowly looked me in the eyes and said, "because of what I said to him."  I was practically on the edge of my seat wondering what the hell could he have said that would've gotten him suspended.   So I insistantly said, "well?  What did you say?"  He smiled and asked "promise I won't get in trouble for telling you?  I already told mom when she picked me up from school and she said I shouldn't use that kind of language and she would deal with me when she got home."  I quickly said "well, if your mom already is going to deal with you, then I won't have to...    so what'cha say?"  He again smiled and held his head high and sat up straight "I asked him if he wanted to know why I was so fat?  I told him that every time I fucked his mamma, she made me a sandwhich."  

      I could feel the pride of a father.   I wanted to hold him high.  (he is way to big for that, I would thow out my back) anyway, I asked him if he had said it loud enough for the other kids to hear?  He said "yea, that's when the kid started hitting me."  I knelted down beside him and smiled I held my hand high and gave him a hard slapped high five.   I looked him dead in the eyes and said "Son, you may have gotten your ass kicked today...    but I think we know who won that fight.  You son, are my hero today." 

      This story is for all those kids who get picked on, put down, teased, made fun of because they are different, slower, shorter, fatter, skinny, not as smart.   You don't have to be the strongest, fastest, tallest, smartest...  (don't get me wrong, in this world it helps)  But once in awhile, you get the last word in.   So when that moment comes....      ...its o.k. to say "I fucked your mamma."

Subject: Resignation

To whom it may concern:

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.

• I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of a 5 year old again.
• I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.
• I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make ripples in a pond with rocks.
• I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
• I want to lie under a big oak tree and watch the ants march up its trunk.
• I want to run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.
• I want to think a quarter is worth more than a dollar bill cause it's prettier and weighs more.
• I want to go fishing and care more about catching the minnows along the shore than the big bass in the lake.
• I want to return to a time when life was simple. When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes. When I didn't know what I know now. When all I knew was to be happy because I was blissfully unaware of all the things that should make me worried.
• I want to think the world is fair.
• I want to think that everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible.
• I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
• I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and the loss of loved ones.
• I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, dreams, the imagination, Santa, the Tooth Fairy, a kiss that makes a boo-boo go away, making angels in the snow and that my dad and Superman are the strongest people in the world.

So......here's my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit cards and the bills too, my 401K statements, my stocks & bonds, my collections, my insurance premiums, my job, my house and the payments too, my e-mail address pager,cell phone, computer, and watch. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this with me further, you'll have to catch me first, cause,

"Tag!"...
"You're it!"