Smack in the Crack
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20 Different Men in the bathroom

November 7, 2007 10:44 by Jon

1.) Excitable -- Shorts half-twisted around, cannot find hole, rips shorts.

2.) Sociable -- Joins friends in piss whether he has to or not.

3.) Cross-eyed -- Looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.

4.) Timid -- Cannot piss if someone is watching, flushes urinal, comes back later.

5.) Indifferent -- All urinals being used, pisses in sink.

6.) Clever -- No hands, fixes tie, looks around, usually pisses on floor.

7.) Worried -- Not sure of where he has been lately, makes quick inspection.

8.) Frivolous -- Plays stream up, down and across the urinal, tries to hit flies and bugs.

9.) Absent-Minded -- Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.

10.) Childish -- Pisses directly in bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.

11.) Sneaky -- Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in other stall will be blamed.

12.) Patient -- Stands very close for a long time, reads with free hand.

13.) Desperate -- Waits in long line, teeth floating, pisses in pants.

14.) Tough -- Bangs dick on side of urinal to dry.

15.) Efficient -- Waits until he has to crap and does both.

16.) Fat -- Backs up and takes a blind shot at urinal, pisses in shower.

17.) Little -- Stands on box, falls in, drowns.

18.) Drunk -- Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants.

19.) Disgruntled -- Stands for a while, gives up, walks away.

20.) Conceited -- Holds two-inch dick like baseball bat.


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Fun in the Bathroom

November 7, 2007 05:32 by Jon

Things to do in the bathroom stall...

1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that."

3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4. Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

5. Drop a marble and say, "oh shoot!! My glass eye!!"

6. Say "Darn, this water is cold."

7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8. Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9. Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"

11. Say, "Interesting....more sinkers than floaters.

12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?"

13. Say. "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me!!"

14. Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot"

15. Say, "Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing "Born Free"

20. When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say "You got any more toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."

 



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